Ok, so I have stayed away from the biggest pain point in my life so far, my mother in law. I think it is time for me to get some home made written therapy... I am warning you now, if you get tied up emotionally in what you read, now may be the time to move to a new blog... Ok, so you stayed, here we go.
Now I think that deep down under the skin of evil, manipulation and scheming she is a good person. The problem is that most of the time we cannot get to that part of her. It all starts with me asking to marry her daughter... I made a point since her father and mother have been divorced since she was little that I would ask her mother for permission. I made it a point to meet with her mother one morning while my wife was working to go meet with her at my wife's apartment while she was in town. I told her my intentions and asked for permission. She got the usual cynical look and then proceed to say the following: "I want you to define marriage for me." That was followed by "I want you to define love for me" and "I want you to define commitment for me" and about 15 other more terms that believe it or not Webster's dictionary has had the definitions for several years. Anyway, this was about 1.5 hours of defining terms for her in my words. No dialogue between the 2 parties involved just definitions. We finally passed that and she finally said something other than give me a definition and it was that she thought we were too young and she would have to pray on it for a while and would get back to me in a couple of weeks. (In case you were wondering Jill was a senior in college and I was out) I said well, I am going to ask her this week so I would like your blessing. She of course said no and that she couldn't do it now and probably not in my time frame so she suggested I put it off until she was comfortable... yeah right, we would still be dating if that was the case. That of course is not where the drama ends. I did ask my wife and she said yes. Jill even debated on calling her after it happened because she was afraid she would ruin it. (She did not know about any of the drama with me at that point, just how cynical her mom was.) I told her please don't, let's have a good night and tell her tomorrow. Of course Jill says "Surely she won't ruin this for me, she will be fine for me, for this day." I might as well changed my wife's name to General Custer at that point because I knew an ambush was coming. So we called her and naturally it ended with my future wife crying the rest of the evening. The sad part was her mom didn't even bring up her and my conversation and still made her cry... I should have known then what I was in for but I am not sure I even now looking back knew what I was in for. So let's fast forward a little just to stay on this one event. It is now a 3 weeks before the wedding (we were engaged for a year) and one night my wife says "You know I am a little disappointed that you never asked my parents for permission, especially my mom." Naturally I about crapped my pants. (If I would have been a man with mafia connections and this was the 1920's my problems would have been over that night. That's how mad I was.) I said "what the hell are you talking about?" Apparently her mom had brought this up to her (which I knew because why out of the blue would she say this?). So I proceeded to tell her what I did and why she didn't know. She of course, still with the evil one's blinders on, says that there is no reason for her mom to lie about this. I of course said there are lot's of reasons especially this close to the wedding. Your mother has been divorced a couple times, doesn't trust anyone and has no one else but you to control. Of course she is trying to cause problems. Needless to say we had quite the "discussion" about this and not sure that it was really resolved for several years. Needless to say we got married and after 9 years of marriage, 4 kids, 2 houses, 1 apartment, 6 cars, 1 dog, 4 jobs we are still going strong.
Now this is just the entry into the series of "Mother in Laws". I will leave you with some other interesting teasers for future episodes:
a) The new house argument
b) Marriage advice... Really?
c) You won't be married long enough!
d) Don't undermind what I teach my kids.
e) Baseball 2009
f) Mother's day
g) Christmas
h) Anti social behavior (with in laws)
i) equal play time for kids, please clock in and out to ensure equality
Now these are not in any particular order but they are all topics that will be coming up in future blogs. Some just get my blood boiling just thinking about them. Also, any friends out there reading this if you recall any others that you have had me vent to you about that are not on this list please let me know so I can include them! :) Have a great week...
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