Men are from Mars, women... some galaxy far, far away.

So according to a famous book, men are supposedly from Mars and women are from Venus... Of course that is just a title and a play with words but honestly I don't think that they are even remotely accurate. Men and women to use this persons idea, in my opinion are not even in the same galaxy. Lets look at a few scenarios:

1. Friendship - Have you ever noticed that even when men don't know each other or even possibly like eachother that a beer and a football game will resolve any issues. That is because men are focused mainly on what they like and how they can turn a situation into something they enjoy. (EXAMPLE: Ok, so I don't like Bob and we have to go over there, but on the otherhand Bob has a nice TV and cold beer. I will be fine.) Women on the otherhand are always judging and to a level almost conniving when in groups. Very rarely can they just be in the moment, they actually have to think about the next hour, days, weeks and years and what certain actions might do. They have a wolf pack mentality almost and will prey on whoever is the percieved weak link at that time. (EXAMPLE: We have to go to the smith's tonight since they invited us. Great, now we will have to have them over, what am I going to wear? I bet she is going to wear something where her new tummy tuck is going to show. It will probably look skanky. I wish I had a tummy tuck. I bet her kids are going to run wild and my husband is just going to sit on his ass with Bob and watch the game while I do everything. I have to do the dishes tomorrow and then I'll probably have to go to the grocery store and I bet I'll run into Lisa, great, she'll want me to scrap book again....) That is all from the same episode. Now the reality is the women could get together, chat, have a few drinks let the kids play and all would be fine but in their mind the world might end if they just were to relax. The other thing is that if you notice men often will all just huddle up in one big drinking group. That is never the case with women. They are always in small cliques. They may start big but there will always be more than one group no more than 5 minutes into any event. This isn't good or bad, just fact. We are wired way different.

2. Sex. Now here is a great one... Lightyears apart. Women's biggest flaw is everything is a feeling/emotion. Men's biggest flaw is that nothing involves feelings/emotions at all. Again, this goes to the making the most of a situation or analyzing the crap out of it. Now ladies don't get me wrong as I know there are some of you that enjoy sex for what it is but for the most part you girls go crazy with this idea that you were raised on which is SOAP OPERAS. Men were raised on the the idea of Playboy and high school girls. Unfortunately for men, we never change and keep those ideas our whole lives. Women on the other hand mature and go from those high school girls to women that need emotional/personal satisfaction. Not that it is a bad thing just hard for us men to adjust to since we don't really change our ideology at all. Let's just take a look at the main highlighted differences:
Men prefer:
- Spontaneity
- Dirtier/kinkier the better
- Vocalization
- Direction (positive, not nagging direction Example:"I like that", not "What are you doing")
- Experimentation

Women
- Romance
- Predictability (to some extent, can't be too out of the norm)
- Love
- Cuddling
- Take charge men (as long as it is within acceptable guidelines)

Now if you just look at the things above they almost contradict themselves. I joked with my wife that I wanted to create a movie that was just about the real sex lives of people. Since then there have been numerous sit-coms that have tried and some have done pretty well. Think about it though, there is nothing out there that accurately depicts what sex is really about, during and after. There is nothing with the quotes "what are you doing?", "you want me to do what?", "Is that even legal?", "You got that stuff all over me?", "get the towel", "Is the door locked?", "Why on the table?", "Why on the bathroom sink?", "Why isn't the bed good enough location?", "You just got it 2 days ago!", "My back hurts.", "why do you want pictures?", "You might hurt the babies head". Anyway, you get the idea. I could do some funny stuff with that. Anyway, I don't have the time or resources but you know what I am saying. It would be a best seller amongst couples of all ages. So now to my recommendation on this. Have 2 guaranteed nights a week. One is for you and one is for her. Your night anything goes, as quick or kinky as you like. Her night, as slow and romantic as possible. HOWEVER, you both have to commit 100% to the idea or just like anything else it will just fizzle away.

3. Self image - This is a huge one as well. You ever notice how a guy can walk around with his belly hanging out and think he is a walking love machine? This is due to the ability to accept what we have and not dwell on the things we can't or don't. So men, maybe while getting dressed think "Man I could lose a few pounds and am getting flabby". After that, we don't think about it again. The rest is focused on the day at hand and what we need to do and when we can have sex. Women on the other hand goes something like this as they are getting dressed: "Man my thighs are getting flabby, is my pouch getting bigger? Do I have circles under my eyes? Honey quick watching me get dressed. Man I hate he is always looking at me like a hungry lion. It wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't start drooling. I wish he would lose some pounds. Speaking of pouches, how does he not see that. My feet are gross. Ok this outfit isn't too bad... Oh nevermind it makes my ass look fat. Let's try another one. OH GREAT he is drooling again. I cannot even change jeans without him on me like a vulture. These jeans look really good. Now I have no top. Is that a grey hair, speaking of hair, can't he see his is falling out. That must be terrible. I am feeling bloated, how many days, surely it isn't that time yet." Now back to the MAN's point of view: "Man she looks hot for having kids, I wish I could lock us in the bathroom for a few minutes. That is a nice, wait I guess that was a nice outfit. Oh boy here comes the fat worries, please let those pants get over the hips, we don't need that kind of excitement this morning. Great they did, Oh boy, the hair thing again, I think my hair is holding strong, a little thinner but overall good work. Oh well, nothing I can do about it anyway. I like she still hasn't found a top to go with those pants yet. Too focused on her grey hair to put a shirt on. NICE!!! Good way to start the day. Maybe I will get lucky tonight." Anyway, bottom line... Men love their wives no matter what they look like. We all think they are hot and most importantly they are all ours. Women are too worried about everything other than just being a confident self. Don't get me wrong, we love that you girls get done up. When you guys put it all together it is HOT. Just don't let the act get in the way of the true beauty that is inside.

There is no right or wrong obviously I just see things all the time that make me laugh and wanted to share some of it. Anyway, Hope you enjoy and if not sorry. I will try to please you in the next blog.